Stop looking for the man that will buy you flowers and get down on one knee just to garner affection. Look for the guy who will see your seeds and help them bloom. The guy who will wear out his jeans, kneeling to pray. 

Find the guy who doesn’t need to have all the answers or fix all the problems, but will listen. The one who will genuinely pursue your heart.

Find the guy who doesn’t care if you are emotional, he understands women often find healing through tears. He understands this doesn’t make them weaker, only different. Equality isn’t sameness. Find the guy that will take out a Kleenex instead of roll his eyes or walk away.

Forget the guy that wants to show off his muscles, his car or his pocketbook. Find the one that will use his muscle to lift you up, protect your heart and pour out his strength for the good of others.

Look for the one who will stay up late to help you do dishes, fold the clothes or pick up toys. Even if it isn’t the right way. Hold on to the one who doesn’t just kick up his feet and expect to be served, but is willing to take out the trash. Find the one who will do the hard things, expecting nothing in return. 

Find the guy who will wait out that super long Starbuck line to pick up your “special” drink. Keep the one who knows it by heart.

Love isn’t a fancy dinner or a box of chocolates. It isn’t found in a slow dance or an intimate night. Love isn’t found in a diamond necklace or a trip to the beach.

Love is agape. Its faithful, sacrificial commitment that dies to self on the daily. Its forgiveness. It’s grace. It’s seeing the other person as more important and being willing to be wrong. It is patient.

It bears all things. Yes, all of them. It bears the good and bad days, the hormones, the sickness, the sleepless nights. It bears the bad moods and the attitudes. It bears that annoying comment.

It bears the loud snoring, stinky breath and bad hair day.

It bears all wrongs. It doesn’t take everything personal or easily become defensive.

Love is cleaning up the puke when your kid throws up in the middle of the night. If you find a guy who will do that, marry him. Quickly.

Love is having sex, even when you are tired. Or patiently waiting when your spouse is exhausted. Love does not abuse — a heart, a mind or a body.

Love is rocking the baby at midnight so you can sleep a few more hours. Love shares the covers, gives the hug, plays the legos and puts down the phone. Love pays attention. Love gives.

Love isn’t showy. It isn’t about the best body or six-pack abs. Those things go away. Love sees trough the body, the face, the makeup, the money, the talent and success. Love sees the soul. 

Relationships are not held together by what’s on the outside, but what’s on the inside. Find someone that is filled with Jesus. Find the person who seeks and depends on him. 

Find the the one who sees their own faults as far worse than yours, then draws a circle around themselves and owns everything inside of it.

Here’s the reality, no one can be all of these things in their own strength. This agape love is given. It’s comes through Jesus. It’s the result of a transformed mind and softened heart. It’s developed over time through a surrendered life that is yielded to the Spirit of God and renewed by his Word.

Perfect isn’t out there. Stop looking for perfection. Look for the one who is pursuing Jesus. And do the same.

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